losing voices facing pedestals.

I have a vivid memory from my days as a five year old. Winding along the lanes with mum in the car, declaring through the instrumental part of 'the young ones', my allegiance to Mr Richards. I can still hear my little self proudly explaning that after watching summer holiday, mum was going to have to share cliff as he was now my idol too... and at some point I was going to travel to Greece on a bus.

This was a prolific moment, up until that point my idols had consisted of carebears, teenage mutant hero turtles and a thundercat. This was the moment that I had found my one and only living idol. As I went back to singing the song- I missed my mothers knowing smile, a smile that knew this would never be the case.

At the age of 6, my entire room was covered in a multitude of red and white posters. Having spent the majority of my life being brainwashed by my older cousins, I had finally been able to start playing football. Man United were my team through the default of hand me down kits. Peter Schmeichel and Andrei Kanchelskis were my idols, the first for being a goalkeeper just like me, the second because he had a funny name that I proudly learnt to say.

For the last few years there have been many articles written about the supposed disappearance of real idols as the word has been, according to some, stolen by simon cowell, boxed up by big brother and married off in Hello. For me an it isn't as simple to define as that.

An idol is a person, or peoples whose actions inspire you to such a degree that you become starry eyed. Your perspective changes, a uncontrollable yearning to improve takes over, the road you had been bumbling along suddenly throws up an alternative route.
Ultimately an idol transforms your world irreversibly.

And here's the amazing part- you WILL have more than one idol- each changing your course, each helping to develop your character and finally guiding you towards your next hero. Each one is placed on that pedestal in your mind, looked up to and admired until your brain resembles a spinning plate act in which you are always the clown.

You may even be unaware that a person holds hero status in your life. But to be put in the same vicinity as an idol, to come face to face with that pedestal of yours does strange things.

A river of self consciousness and doubt will flood your entire body, usually resulting in unsubtle transformation to human tomato. This can trigger the voice gremlin who works in mysterious ways. Often he will steal your voice, locking words away for the time you are near the person, feed it with alcohol and it will force all words out of your mouth, at speed, in a jumble sale of sentences.

If this happens- breathe, let your face become its natural colour and if the gremlin allows you a couple of words, 'hello' and 'thanks' are good starting points.

Remember, they are spinning pedestals in their head too.

xXx